Reggie can tackle my bush.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize