I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize