What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
my poor anus
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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