i just wanna soil my oats bro
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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