I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
