she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
