If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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