Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
