So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize