WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
