you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
