She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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