Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
