It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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