At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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