There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
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