I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
