people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
