Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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