I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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