So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
