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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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