So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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