I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
