You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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