its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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