How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
