Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
