Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
