you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
