you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
