I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
