I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Randomize
