Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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