my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
