marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I faked an abortion last night.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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