Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
