I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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