he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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