I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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