i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
