woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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