Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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