im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize