she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
