I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
