I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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