Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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