Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
