when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize