At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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