It's Friday. Sex?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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