to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
