real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
