This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
what day is it and did you see me today?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
