sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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