so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I wish I only lived at night.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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