So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
